Becoming a mother

I just couldn't let a mothers day go by with out talking about it.  Just the word "mother" chokes me up.  Becoming a mother has changed my life in every possible way.  The day I became a mother I was so excited...this word may even be an understatement.  I was literally laying on the operating table just giddy with a huge permanent smile on my face and every 5 seconds asking Andrew "is she out yet?" and "can you see her".  I was so excited to finally hold that baby that had been in my belly for what felt like 3 years.  The first time I heard her cry tears started streaming down my face.

The first time I saw and held my little girl my entire life changed.  There is no way to describe that feeling you get the first moment you become a mommy but I know everyone of you who has children knows exactly what I'm talking about.  I was so excited and thought I knew what I was getting in to but I had no idea.  She became the center of our world and everything I did revolved around her.  I felt a new kind of love.  With the birth of Joie came the birth of me as a Mother.

Not long after I had Joie I knew that at some point I wanted another child.  I knew that I had even more love to give.  When Joie was about a year and a half we felt ready to bring another child into the world.  We got pregnant right away and I was so excited.  We didn't tell anyone we were pregnant until we were about 14 weeks and we only told our families until we were 20 weeks and we told everyone else by announcing that we were having another little girl.  After that my elation quickly turned to fear.  I was afraid that I wasn't going to be able to love another baby as much as I loved Joie.  Then I was afraid the new baby would be so fun that Joie would feel neglected  because I spent so much time with her sister.  I was just terrified all around about being a mother to two children instead of one.  I was certain they would both suffer and not get the attention the deserve because I would be too busy with the other one all the time.  My fears grew and grew.  The night before my c section I was so terrified that I couldn't even sleep.  I was up all night sick to my stomach because I was so afraid.  The next morning came and the anxiety lessened some and I felt a little excited.  This time as I laid on the operating table I just had a million thoughts going through my head and the anxiety came back worse then ever.  A minute later I heard my child cry and every one of my fears disappeared instantly and were replaced with love...just as much love as I felt for my first child.  

I had nothing to fear.  I love my daughters both so much.  I get to spend so much time with both of them and I don't feel like anyone gets to neglected (except sometimes Andrew...and the laundry).

At that point I got to experience one of my favorite things I've ever done as a mom which was introducing my daughters to each other.  It was so fun and so special and one of my favorite moments in all my life.

I just love being a mother.  I just feel so extremely blessed that the Lord has trusted me with these two little girls.  This mothers day I don't want to celebrate by going and getting a massage or having someone else take care of my kids so I can rest.  I want to celebrate by playing my with babies and just doing mommy things all day.  

Joie and Berkeley,

  I hope someday you can read this and know how much I love you and how privileged I feel to be your mommy.  You two have made my life better then I ever knew it could be.  Thank you for teaching me how to be a mommy.  I will always love you with all my heart no matter what!

  Love, Mom 

Bumbo!

Girlfriend got a Bumbo and she LOVES it.  She hangs out in it on the bathroom counter the entire time I get ready and stares at herself in the mirror and frequently she just lays her head to the side and falls asleep.  Berkeley will be 3 months on Saturday and she is just getting sweeter every day.  She is so low maintenance and is happy  as long as she can see Mommy or Daddy.  She weighs almost 12 lbs and she is adorable and amazing and we are obsessed with her

We don't have anything too exciting to report on but I just can't stand going too long without putting up pictures of my kiddies!

The sniffles

Poor baby Berkeley has got a yucky case of RSV.  She started getting stuffy around Sunday or Monday but it wasn't anything too bad.  We were at a friends house on Wednesday night and she started having horrible coughing fits where she couldn't catch her breath and she would cough so hard she couldn't stop vomiting.  So Wednesday night we took her to the doctor and they said since she was still eating and oxygen levels were good that she was alright and they wrote me an order to go to the Respiratory Outpatient Clinic to get a deep suction and an Albuterol treatment as often as we needed to for the next 7 days.  So we took her to get suctioned a few times and we all noticed she was getting a little worse every time we went in.  On friday when I got home from work she was in pretty crummy shape.  She wouldn't really eat and she definitely wouldn't sleep.  So I took her to the ROC to get her deep suctioned so she would eat again.  As soon as they hooked her up to the monitors they noticed her oxygen levels were about 82% so they admitted her to the hospital.  In the first few hours she got worse.  Her oxygen levels dropped lower and she wouldn't eat at all.  After hours on oxygen and many many deep suctions she would finally eat a little.  A few hours later she was able to keep her oxygen level at about 90% so she was able to get off the oxygen.  The next feeding she ate almost normally.  That night they said she was good enough to be discharged as long as we brought her back to the ROC every few hours to get suctioned and have her oxygen saturation levels checked.  Since then she has been doing so much better.  She was so exhausted from having such little sleep those few days that since she has been home she has pretty much just been eating and sleeping.  She gave us quite the scare but she is doing much better now.  On a sad note, Joie DEFINITELY caught the virus from Berkeley and she is completely miserable now with a fever, cough, and sore throat.  I have decided that I'm NEVER spending another winter in such a cold miserable place where the sick season is so long and dangerous.

friday

Today

Another Courtney Low favorite

Alright peeps, does anybody else HATE plastic wrap??  Maybe it is just me but I don't even think it sticks to anything but its self.  Unfortunately, it is basically the only thing you can use to cover things you are putting in the fridge.  Well one day my best friend Whitney introduced me to Glad Press'n Seal plastic wrap...and that day may go down in history as one of the best in my life.  It sticks to everything!  It makes me so excited that I find myself looking for ways to use it.  It is pretty affordable too and I think wal mart has a generic brand of this same product as well, but I could be mistaken.  Go buy this now and thank me later!  It has become a must have in our house!

Berkeley's Blessing Day

Andrew's brother Bob and his wife Erika had their second baby about 3 weeks before we had Berkeley.  We decided it would be really fun to organize something and have their baby blessings done together.  Today we had a small ceremony with just family and a few very close friends.  It was so sweet and wonderful.  Both of the babies did awesome and looked so adorable!  It was just one of those experiences where I was simply overwhelmed by how many wonderful people we have in our lives who love us and who love our kiddos.

please excuse my scary squinting face.  It was very very bright out

I can't lie, we have some pretty awesome friends.

Proud Dads

The main attractions...so cute!

Love this little girl

I just love how sweet and innocent she looks :)

It was such a great day.  By the time we got home both of the kids DESPERATELY  needed naps but I really want to take some good ones of both of them so hopefully I will have some more to post later!

All smiles

I just love staring at this little face every day!

Sisterly Love

Joie has found a new favorite toy to play with.  I was so nervous that when I brought home the baby she would be insanely jealous but she hasn't been at all.  She is the sweetest big sister and she always wants to hug and kiss the baby.  Berkeley hates having her diaper changed and every time I change her Joie stands next to her and holds her hand and says "It's ok baby Berkeley" and kisses her until I'm done and the baby stops crying.  It's pretty adorable how much she loves her sister.