This last year I've really come to embrace and enjoy my roll as a mother so much. I am in NO way and anti-feminist. I think women are strong and smart and I don't think there is anything a woman can't do and there is nothing a women shouldn't be allowed to do. I love that this world is made up of all kinds of women and mothers and these views are just for me and my journey in motherhood. What it came down to for me is at the end of my life, when all is said and done, I know I will never say "I regret that I spent so much time with my kids". Just thinking this helped me enjoy being a mother more. I cared less about beds being made and hair being perfectly styled (mine and theirs) and more about reading books, and having tea parties, and spending hours on end blowing bubbles. I try to cherish every single hug and kiss because I can already feel their childhood slipping away and I just want to hold on to it as tightly as I can. Doing all these little things has made me appreciate every day. I love being their mom and I'm so proud to tell people I'm a stay at home mom and that I love it. It is so much work every single day but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
I had another epiphany because of "motherhood" if you will, that forever changed me this year (as in since last mothers day). You know when you hear something your entire life and one day it just clicks and takes on a new depth for you? That happened to me. "Actions speak louder than words". Who hasn't heard that a million times? I know I did. All the time growing up my parents would say that to me. Fairly recently, however, I started to understand what that meant to me right now, as a mother. I had spent some time stressing about teaching my children the things that are important to me. I was nervous about teaching them about having faith, and having high morals, and a million other things. I wanted to do my very best to teach them well and help them understand their agency and making good choices. I spent many an hour prayerfully pondering the best way to teach them. It slowly started to click that every single thing I want my kids to do, they need to see me doing. In April 2012 General Conference Quentin L. Cook said, specifically to parents "Example is particularly important. What we are speaks so loudly that our children may not hear what we say". One thing this really makes me think of is teaching my daughters about confidence. I want my daughters to KNOW that confidence comes from within and that you cannot place your confidence on your outward appearance or you will never be happy or truly confident. This means I need to be better. I want my kids to see me being healthy and eating right and exercising but I never want them to hear me complain about my weight or size or appearance. I also know, if I don't want them to hear me say it, I can't say it ever because they manage to hear everything. I need to try my best to "walk the walk", if you will, and take care of myself and my body without using it as a form of confidence. I am so grateful that the Lord gave me two daughters. He clearly knew that they would teach me so much more than I can ever teach them.
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Andrew just grabbed his phone and snapped some pictures of me just playing with the girls this morning while I was still in my jammies and this girls had just gotten out of the bath. This is my favorite part of motherhood. Just the playing and learning and not posing for pictures
Happy Mothers Day to all of you women out there. Its a day I love to celebrate my mom and my children and the amazing opportunity I've been given to be a mother.
