My favorite holiday

Mothers day is here again.  Just thinking about it makes me giddy.  I've made it a day where I get to celebrate motherhood and I do it by not doing any chores and just playing and laughing and being silly with my kiddos all day.  We don't get upset or discipline (for the most part) or turn on the TV.  We just play.  It helps to remind me why I love being a mom so much.

This last year I've really come to embrace and enjoy my roll as a mother so much.  I am in NO way and anti-feminist.  I think women are strong and smart and I don't think there is anything a woman can't do and there is nothing a women shouldn't be allowed to do.  I love that this world is made up of all kinds of women and mothers and these views are just for me and my journey in motherhood.  What it came down to for me is at the end of my life, when all is said and done, I know I will never say "I regret that I spent so much time with my kids".  Just thinking this helped me enjoy being a mother more.  I cared less about beds being made and hair being perfectly styled (mine and theirs) and more about reading books, and having tea parties, and spending hours on end blowing bubbles.  I try to cherish every single hug and kiss because I can already feel their childhood slipping away and I just want to hold on to it as tightly as I can.  Doing all these little things has made me appreciate every day.  I love being their mom and I'm so proud to tell people I'm a stay at home mom and that I love it.  It is so much work every single day but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

I had another epiphany because of "motherhood" if you will, that forever changed me this year (as in since last mothers day).  You know when you hear something your entire life and one day it just clicks and takes on a new depth for you?  That happened to me.  "Actions speak louder than words".  Who hasn't heard that a million times?  I know I did.  All the time growing up my parents would say that to me.  Fairly recently, however, I started to understand what that meant to me right now, as a mother.  I had spent some time stressing about teaching my children the things that are important to me.  I was nervous about teaching them about having faith, and having high morals, and a million other things.  I wanted to do my very best to teach them well and help them understand their agency and making good choices.  I spent many an hour prayerfully pondering the best way to teach them.  It slowly started to click that every single thing I want my kids to do, they need to see me doing.  In April 2012 General Conference Quentin L. Cook said, specifically to parents "Example is particularly important.  What we are speaks so loudly that our children may not hear what we say".  One thing this really makes me think of is teaching my daughters about confidence.  I want my daughters to KNOW that confidence comes from within and that you cannot place your confidence on your outward appearance or you will never be happy or truly confident.  This means I need to be better.  I want my kids to see me being healthy and eating right and exercising but I never want them to hear me complain about my weight or size or appearance.  I also know, if I don't want them to hear me say it, I can't say it ever because they manage to hear everything.  I need to try my best to "walk the walk", if you will, and take care of myself and my body without using it as a form of confidence.  I am so grateful that the Lord gave me two daughters.  He clearly knew that they would teach me so much more than I can ever teach them.

Andrew just grabbed his phone and snapped some pictures of me just playing with the girls this morning while I was still in my jammies and this girls had just gotten out of the bath.  This is my favorite part of motherhood.  Just the playing and learning and not posing for pictures

This, however, is what happened when I tried to actually get my girls to  pose for a picture this morning because they had cute new matching dresses on.  It was a very failed attempt.  Oh well, I love them anyway!

Happy Mothers Day to all of you women out there.  Its a day I love to celebrate my mom and my children and the amazing opportunity I've been given to be a mother.

Absence

I have had a blogging absences.  I recently had a series of epiphanies and made a decision to take a break for Blogs and Facebook to focus more on being the Mother and person I want to be.  I was realizing I complained a lot about not finding enough time to do things I wanted to but somehow I always found time to get on the computer.  It was time for a change!  Things have been really great around here and I want to keep up on my blog because I love being able to go document things we do and go back and read them later and turn them into blog books ( and I know Jordan Kearney likes reading it).  More posts coming soon!

Berkeley turns 1

I started this posts over 2 months ago on Berkeley's birthday.  Woops!

Oh how on earth did this happen??  How did my baby turn 1?  Why do moms feel a huge rush of emotion every time their babies have another birthday?  I remember when Joie turned 1 I thought she was SO big.  I know every mom is guilty of this with their first but I remember thinking (and saying) that Joie was a "toddler".  I thought she was so big.  When I look at my little Berkeley I still see a teeny little baby.  Poor thing will probably never walk because I basically hold her all day every day.

We had so much fun celebrating Berkeley's birthday.  My parents were in town for vacation and were spending 4 days at Disneyland and one of those days was Berkeley's birthday.  So that morning we packed up and headed to the parks!  It was down pouring.  We got there and wrapped the stroller in plastic ponchos and we went to "city hall" to get a "It's my birthday" button for Berkeley to wear that day.  We than walked across the street to get her some Mickey ears with her name embroidered on the back.  By the time we had finished these two things Andrew and I were both drenched from head to toe and both of us were starting to get a little frustrated.  We took a deep breath and decided we were going to have the best day ever, despite being soaked to the bone, and give our baby the best first birthday...and that is exactly what we did.  It ended up being the absolute best day.  After the first couple of hours the rain stopped for the rest of the day but it stayed gloomy so the crowds stayed away!  There was no wait on any line all day long.  It was so much fun.  We wrapped ourselves up in ponchos and rode the rafting ride and splash mountain about 5 times each because there was literally no one in line.  We didn't even get off the rides, we just kept riding over and over.  Around lunch time we headed up to my parents hotel room (which was conveniently located in California Adventure) to have cake and presents.  We had so much fun and we were so happy to celebrate it with family.

Since we had her cake at the park we didnt let her dig into it because it makes such a huge mess and we didn't want her to ruin her cute birthday outfit.  So we let her have a cake later at home.  She is a big eater but she doesn't really like getting messy so she just stuck her face right in it!  I just love this little girl.

Oh my little Berkeley girl.  You are so very sweet.  That is probably the first word that always comes to our mind when we think of you.  You are so calm and content.  You give your smiles and giggles away so easily to every one you know.  You've become a little anxious recently around people you don't know and you get clingy but as soon as you've been around them for about 10 minutes you warm up.  You have a very hearty appetite and you aren't very picky.  You're teeth are very very slowly coming in.  You have 2 on the bottom and 2 on top.  Between not having very many teeth and being on the short side people always think you are younger than you are!  Your talking skills are growing by leaps and bounds.  You can make animals sounds for Dog, Cat, Bird, Aligator, Tiger, Fish, Cow, Owl, and a few others.  You say Mommy, Daddy, Doie (for Joie), Ben, please, more, thank you, honey (we may watch too much Winnie the Pooh), Pooh, Eeyore, Pop Pops, Didi (gigi), num num, tooie (pacifier), and many others but our absolute least favorite is "No No" which you mostly say to Joie when she tries to take away your things.  You also LOVE to sing.  You sing the tunes to songs you know all the time and you do such a good job.  A lot of the time people will come up to me and say "It sounds like she is singing Little Mermaid" and its because you are!  You love music so much.  You still just adore Joie.  You guys have become little best friends and you just love playing together and being silly constantly. I love you so much Berkeley.  You are just a beam of light in my life and I feel SO privileged to be your mother (and I know your daddy feels the same way). My heart loves you more and more every day.  You are perfect!

It's always fun when Gigi comes

This was a very long time ago but I came across the pictures today and remembered that I never wrote this down.  Back in December my mom came down for a quick visit.  She arrived in the early afternoon so we decided the next day we would spend the whole day at, drum roll please...Disneyland (I know its so shocking).  Although we go to Disneyland all the time, its always fun to go with different people and my mom has been talking about how badly she wanted to go with the girls since we moved here.  We had the absolute best day!  We mapped out our "schedule" before we went to optimize our time (yes we are a little insane) and it payed off! We rode pretty much every single ride and some we rode twice and it was a pretty crowded day too.  Andrew got off work around 4 and met us at the park and it started raining pretty hard which was nice because it thinned the crowds.  Once Andrew got there we took turns watching the kids and going on the big rides which we did for another couple of hours.  By the time we left we were so exhausted and a little cold, which is the sign of a good day at Disneyland.  It was a blast.

Joie is going through an interesting little phase right now where she cannot smile normal for pictures.  It normally comes out looking like this.

Yes my daughter pretty much always wears a costume to Disneyland

Isn't my mom a total babe??  Sorry this is not the most interesting post ever but it was such a fun day and I wanted to make sure I wrote it down while it was still (relatively) fresh in my mind.

Coming soon.  Berkeley's first birthday post

New years

On New years eve we were really excited to go up to the roof and watch the fireworks from Disneyland. Unfortunately, about an hour before the fireworks, it got really overcast so you couldn't see the fireworks very well. So we went home and just enjoyed each others company and watched a bunch of super hero movies and ate milk duds and popcorn! Since the holiday was on a Saturday and Sunday every one got Monday off work too which worked out perfectly because it was a BEAUTIFUL day. It was 82 degrees so we decided to spend the whole day at the beach. It was a perfect day. We just all played together and ate snacks and enjoyed each others company.

While we were at the beach I just had one of those mommy moments. I was sitting up a little ways on the beach and watching Joie play in the water by herself. She was just splashing and laughing and every once in a while she would bring up a seashell to show me. I began to cry(just a little)watching my not so little baby. I wanted so badly to freeze time and just watch my babies play for forever. I love every day I spend with them and I love watching them grow but it's all gone by so fast that I know the next 17 years will be gone before I know it. I love watching my girls grow up I just wish they would do it a litte slower.

Christmas 2011

This year for Christmas we had planned to stay home because Andrew wasn't really getting anytime off work.  On Thursday Andrew suggested we leaved Friday afternoon for Vegas.  We also decided it would be a good idea to surprise my mom.  My parents were out when we got to their house so we had bought a huge gift bag and made Joie hide inside with a bow on her head and pop out to surprise Gigi when she walked in the door ( I have a video perhaps I will post it later).  It was hilarious and, according to my mother, a wonderful surprise.

We had a fun Christmas Eve where we rode a Carousel close to my parents house and did all of our other Christmas Eve traditions.  We ate DELICIOUS pizza at a place called Grimaldi's, opened our Christmas Eve jammies, made reindeer food (oatmeal mixed with glitter so the reindeer can find it), and Pop Pops read The Night Before Christmas.

I thought the picture of Joie torturing Berkeley was hilarious.  Sometimes she just loves her a little too much.

Santa came and apparently Joie and Berkeley had been very good girls this year because they pretty much hit the jackpot.  Joie got a scooter, tons of toys from Toy Story (Woody, Jessie, Bullseye, and Slink), tons of My Little Pony toys from pretty much everyone in the family, and tons of other fun things. Berkeley got the Elefun busy ball popper, Leapfrog Fridge Farm, and a ton of other fun toys.  The kids are pretty much spoiled rotten.

One of my favorite people on earth, my aunt Marrietta was their for Christmas with her husband and sweet baby boy and it was amazing to see them.  My dads parents came by a little later Christmas day with my cousin Hayley (one of my other favorite people) who just got back from her mission 5 days before Christmas.  It was amazing to see everyone.  We had our traditional Tamale dinner and put the kids to bed and started to settle in.  Then disaster struck.  At 10:00 I got super sick.  Like vomiting every 30 minutes and super high fever sick.  I wasn't surprised because Berkeley seemed to have the same bug 2 days earlier so I knew it would probably pass in a few hours like hers did.  But no.  Around 3 AM while I was still awake vomiting, I heard my dad, my brother Ben, and Andrew all start throwing up at the same time.  It was disgusting.  The next day we all spend the entire day writhing in pain on the couch.  My mom called my Aunt and her husband at the hotel and she got sick at exactly 3 AM as well and went to the hospital to get fluids because shes 8 months pregnant.  Around 4 in the afternoon  Joie started vomiting and got a really high fever as well.  Thank goodness my mom was around to help with the kids because Andrew and I were completely out of commission.  Andrew had to go home that night because he had work the next morning but Joie and I were way too sick to travel so we stayed.  We woke up feeling so much better but my poor mom was sick then.  It was basically the stomach bug from hell and needless to say we probably wont be feeling up to Tamales for a very long time.
Besides this, Christmas was absolutely lovely.  This time of year went by WAY too fast. I had such a wonderful time this year helping Joie really understand the true meaning of Christmas.  She fell in love with The Little Drummer Boy and loved going outside at night to see my parents light up nativity.  She would pick up baby Jesus from one of our nativities every day and she would say softly, "Look Mommy, baby Christ".  It was very very sweet.  I hope I helped her understand the true meaning of Christmas this year and hopefully every year she wont just be excited for the presents and Santa but she will be excited to put out the Nativities and remember our Lord Jesus Christ.

If I had my child to raise all over again

If I had my child to raise all over again,

I'd build self esteem first, and the house later.

I'd fingerpaint more, and point the finger less.

I would do less correcting and more connecting.

I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I would care to know less and know to care more.

I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.

I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

I'd do more hugging and less tugging.

I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often.

I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.

I'd model less about the love of power,

And more about the power of love.

by Diane Loomans

When I read this poem on my friend Erin's blog I began to tear up.  This is a subject that had already been weighing heavy on my mind.  I just want to cherish every single second that I have with my kids because I know that before I know it they will be grown.  I want to spend more time recording their childhood so I can look back and remember every day.  I regret so much not keeping a better journal when Joie was younger and I've already forgotten some of the adorable things she use to say that melted my heart.  I know its not New Years yet but I figure anytime is a good time for new goals and resolutions.  I want to spend every day playing and loving my kids and hopefully find time at night to record our experiences. I want to be able to print off my blog books and have it read as a journal and the story of my kids lives.

These are some totally random pictures that are not related to each other or this post but I thought they were all pretty cute.